


i could've sworn i was yours

by brokenshards



Category: Merlin (TV) RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-02
Updated: 2013-04-02
Packaged: 2017-12-07 07:18:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/745801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenshards/pseuds/brokenshards
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>she hasn't seen him in four months, and she misses him. but really, she should've known better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i could've sworn i was yours

It's been four months since she's seen him, and her entire being is strangely starting to ache. 

She hadn't realized it before, not when he was invading her personal space every day for eight months at a time. He was always _there_ and she took it for granted. He'd come over to her hotel, laughing and grinning stupidly, telling her some story about how Colin tripped on his face during rehearsals, or how for once he got all his lines right on the first take—and it was all so comfortable. They'd stay up for hours, eating Chinese food from the carton and drinking wine from a box, just enjoying each other. It wasn't anything particularly special, but now that it's gone, she craves it more than the air she breathes.

She has a break in filming, and she buys a plane ticket to L.A. It's stupid, she knows it's stupid, and she bangs her head against the plane's window more times than she can count in the 10 hour long plane ride. But she hasn’t seen him or even talked to him in so long. She’s seen Colin several times, ran into Eoin and some of the boys on occasion, and even chatted with Angel over the phone, but never him.

As she lands in the city of angels, she tries to act casual. Right after she checks into her hotel, she starts walking aimlessly down the street, trying to entertain herself. It doesn’t last long, though, and she calls him from outside a small pub she found. She off-handedly remarks that she's in the city, and maybe they could meet. It's late, and she's jetlagged, but she doesn't care.

He's thrilled—he’s been separated from everyone, and while he needed the space, he's starting to realize that there won't come a time when this separation will stop, now that everything's at an end—and he immediately agrees to come meet her.

He finds her at the pub, she's on her fourth beer already, and he sweeps her up in a bone-crushing hug.

She can't help it, she breathes him in, lingering a few seconds longer than necessary. Had he always smelled this good? She couldn't recall.

"What are you doing here?" he asks, his grin nearly blinding.

She shrugs, suddenly overwhelmed by a ridiculous bout of awkward shyness. "I had a break, I thought I'd come see what all the fuss was about."

"Well, I guess it's my duty to show you a good time, then." He orders a drink, his smile still firmly in place.

They both talk about everything and nothing for hours.

Katie discusses her new projects and all the difficulties that come with it. She jokes about how she still has to dye her hair every two weeks though, so nothing new there, which leads to a shocked gasp from Bradley.

"God, your hair, how did I not notice your hair?" He reaches out a hand and twirls a strand around his finger. Her blonde is fading, she'll need to dye it again soon before she films again, but it's left her hair a soft golden brown, much different than the last time he saw her.

She laughs, feeling self-conscious. He always had a way of making her feel insecure, and she craved his approval. "What do you think?"

He smiles softly, "I love it. Much more natural." He notices her face and quickly adds, "Not that I didn't like it before!"

It makes her grin, the way he trips over himself to make her feel better. She wishes sometimes that she never had to leave his side, he was just so full of light and warmth—she never could be sad when she was with him. Angry, maybe, and perhaps a bit more than a little annoyed, but never sad.

They switch to discussing Bradley's life, and he gushes about his recent skydiving adventure. He promises to take her some time; he swears that she'd love it. She's hesitant, but he tells her quite plainly that he won't take no for an answer, so she agrees. ("Someday," she promises, and the word tastes acrid on her tongue.)

They go on like that until the pub closes, and they're asked to leave. It's 2 AM, and Bradley jokes as they stand out on the sidewalk, "It's a little too late for bed, I think."

She chuckles, unsurprised. She offers for him to come with her to her hotel, it's only a block away after all.

They enter her room, both nearly drunk and only slightly stumbling. "Just like old times," he breathes, nostalgia coloring his words.

They order room service and buy some ridiculous action movie off the pay per view. They end up sprawled across the only bed in the room, with Katie’s legs propped up across Bradley’s lap, despite his groaning protests.

Midway through the movie, Katie gets up and states that she is desperate need of a shower. She's covered in grime from her day of travel, and she's starting to feel it. She tosses Bradley a tiny bottle of vodka from the mini bar and smirks at him before slipping in the bathroom.

Bradley continues to watch the movie until he gets bored by himself. He goes and rifles through Katie's things, even though he knows she'd probably yell at him for it. He finds her favorite chunky knit scarf and laughs-- it's getting to be far too warm for scarves, especially in L.A., but it's just such a typical Katie move. He digs through her lingerie, mostly so he can use it against her; he so does enjoy watching her turn bright red, burying her face cutely in her hands.

As he searches deeper, he finds something familiar and tugs it out from the bottom. He walks over and cracks open the bathroom door, causing a wave of steam to hit him in the face. He quips, "You seriously still carry Hugo around?"

Katie yelps, surprised by the intrusion. She pulls back the shower curtain just enough to look at him and scowls. "Yes. Shut up."

He laughs and holds Hugo up to the light, studying him. He makes no moves to leave the bathroom, and Katie huffs loudly.

"Bradley, do you mind?"

He brings Hugo down and tucks him safely under his arm. "What?"

She sticks an arm out and gestures around the bathroom as a form of explanation.

He smirks, the expression on his face practically devilish. "Oh, no need to be all modest. I still keep up with British television on my laptop, you know." He winks obnoxiously at her, watching as her jaw drops. 

He continues, enjoying watching her squirm. "I _so_ did enjoy watching Labyrinth the other night. Kicked everyone out of my flat just so I could see it in private."

"Bradley!" she squawks, her entire face flushing from embarrassment.

He lifts his eyebrows in an appraising manner, causing her blush to creep down her neck as well.

Reaching behind her in the shower, Katie grabs a loofah and chucks it violently at Bradley's head.

He raises his hands in surrender. "All right, all right. I'm leaving!" As he turns to go, he calls out, "Really nothing to be ashamed of though, honey!"

Before Katie can respond, she hears the bathroom door click shut behind him. Sighing, she drops her head against the tiles of the shower. 

\---

When she comes out, she isn’t surprised to find him passed out on her bed. He’s still got Hugo tucked under his arm, and for a second she considers taking a picture, but it’s not like she has anywhere good to post it. She could send it to Eoin, but in end, she decides it’s not worth it. Bradley would undoubtedly post something lewd about her sex scenes in Labyrinth as retaliation, and she really didn’t need that.

Without Bradley to keep her company, she feels the crushing exhaustion of her long day and collapses on the bed next to him. They had done this plenty of times in France. Sometimes all four of them would end up on the same bed after a hard day’s shoot—or a long nights drinking— their limbs tangled and their necks sore the next day.

They stay like that all night, although Katie manages to steal Hugo (and most of the covers, twisted up over the sides and wrapped the wrong way around her) sometime during the few hours they sleep.

When Katie wakes up, it’s nearly noon, and Bradley is gone. There’s a note in his messy scrawl on the bedside table, telling her that he had stuff to do, but he wants to see her later.

She only has a week or so that she can stay, and she plans to spend most of it with him—not that he needs to know how sickeningly lonely she is without his constant presence, of course.

She spends the rest of the day wandering around downtown, window shopping and people watching. She hardly ever gets recognized, especially in the states, so she is free to do whatever she wants without being hounded by paparazzi.

It’s a welcome relief when her phone rings, and she picks it up eagerly. “Colin!” she chirps, shocked that he’s calling her.

She can practically hear his grin through the phone as he greets her in return. He tells her that Bradley texted him that she was in the states, and he figured he’d give her a call to check up on things. 

They talk for a while; Katie finds a park bench to sit on as they chat. It isn’t until Colin asks, “Why are you really there, Katie?” that she loses her smile.

“Col,” she chides. “Am I not allowed to visit my friends?”

He knows better, he’s seen the way she would look at Bradley. “Just… be careful.”

She brushes off his concern (“I’m a big girl, Col, I can take care of myself.”) and says her goodbyes. Colin clearly didn’t know what he was talking about.

\---

Bradley picks her up that night and they go out again. He’d never admit it to her face, but he missed her. She’s such a refreshing change of pace from all the vapid airheads he encounters in this city. Katie is just… Katie. Perfectly sweet and slightly geeky, and someone he could be himself with; she expected nothing else. 

He takes her to a club, which is not her scene, but she goes anyways. He wanted to introduce her to the real night life in Los Angeles, and apparently, this was it. 

They take shots like it’s a competition, both insistent on proving that they’re better at holding their liquor.

“I’m bigger than you,” Bradley states.

“Yes, but I’m Irish,” Katie points out. “I was born for this.” She grins at him, and he almost lets her win just on principle.

They end up calling it a tie after almost a dozen shots, and both of them feel the slight wave of dizziness crash into them as they stand up from their bar stools.

Katie wore heels and a slinky dress, per Bradley’s orders (“It’s just the dress code, Katie.”) but she longs to be in jeans and a hoodie. Everyone is watching her, and she has never been good at this. Luckily Bradley is there to save her from all the creepy older men who eye her all night. She tries to stay in the corner with her drink, but Bradley convinces her to come out to the dance floor. 

He’s adapting to the California lifestyle, and while it’s different, it suits him. He’s still the same old Bradley underneath, so she accepts it. His hair has gotten blonder from the sun, but he still wears the same old t-shirts and soccer jerseys that he did before. She’s certain she’s seen the shirt he’s wearing tonight several times before, and it makes her smile.

He drags her out to the dance floor, her third rum and coke left on a table somewhere. She’s always felt like she had two left feet, but she’s just drunk enough not to care. His hands fall to her waist, and she sinks into him, rocking with the rhythm of the music. She doesn’t know the song, she’s never heard it before and doesn’t know the words, but she finds herself moving like the beat is tattooed on her soul.

They’re in each other’s space, there’s nowhere else to go on the crowded floor, and she can smell mint on his breath from the gum he’d been chewing. She can’t see his face, her head is ducked under his chin and her eyes are level with his chest. They move to the music, her hands sliding slowly up his back to rest on his shoulders. She rocks into him, using his body to hold her up as she sways in her heels. 

It feels nice, to be this close to him; she hadn’t had the chance in longer than she can remember. Her common sense is long gone by now, and she tilts her head up, leaving her mouth mere inches from his— close enough that they’re breathing the same breath of air.

His grip on her hips tightens for a second as he squeezes and then relaxes his fingers, his mind reeling. He watches the way her hair sweeps over her shoulders as she moves, and he’s briefly mesmerized. This was Katie, his mate Katie, but that thought was abandoned as she slipped her knee in between his legs. He was sure it wasn’t on purpose, but he could feel her gently grinding down on his thigh and his eyes rolled back in his head. 

She throws her head slightly to the side, tossing her long hair over one shoulder. His eyes are drawn to the curve of her neck, and he can’t stop himself. The alcohol is sweeping through his blood, and he tilts his head down, brushing their cheeks together as he dips his head into the crook of her neck. He presses his mouth against her skin and sucks hungrily, unable to restrain himself. He moves up her neck, leaving hot open mouthed kisses across her skin. He lavishes the hollow of her throat with his tongue, slowly moving up to leave little nips over her jaw line.

It takes her a second to recognize what is happening, but as she does, she momentarily stiffens. Colin was right—she did come here with a purpose in mind, but she never expected anything to happen. And yet it was.

Bradley slowly releases her jaw and pulls back ever so slightly, searching her eyes for something. Apparently, he finds it there, because he ducks his head again and captures her lips in a kiss. He greedily sucks at her lips, chewing lightly on the soft skin and savoring the taste of her. His hands roam her back with abandon, mapping out every inch of skin he can find as he tugs her closer.

Katie parts her lips slightly to moan, the sound swallowed by his kiss as he slips his tongue inside the depths of her mouth. She arches her back, pressing closer to him, but it’s not enough. Reluctantly breaking the kiss, she pulls back just enough to breathe, her forehead resting against his. “We should go,” she murmurs.

They end up tumbling into a cab, Bradley unable to take his hands off her the entire way. Something in the back of her mind is telling her to stop, she doesn’t do things like this, what if they regret it in the morning—but she ignores it. Logic be damned, she wants this.

It takes four tries to open her hotel door, but they finally do, and Katie is immediately pressed up against it as it shuts. Bradley slides his hands down the back of her thighs, and with a jump from Katie, he lifts her up to rest her legs over his hips. Her ankles cross behind his back, allowing her to effectively straddle him. They use the hotel door as support as he grinds into her, his lips latching onto any part of her he can reach.

Katie’s head falls back in ecstasy and it hits the door with a loud thump, but she doesn’t seem to notice the pain beyond the pleasure. “God, Bradley,” she gasps, “Are you su—” Her question is cut off by his hungry mouth, and that’s answer enough for her.

Her dress ends up shoved up around her waist, and her underwear (one of the pairs Bradley had spotted in her luggage) is suddenly ripped and off her body before she can protest.

They’re both drunk, and everything is a bit rough and awkward, but as he unzips his pants and pushes up inside her, nothing else matters.

They fall into a steady rhythm, despite the awkward position. He repeatedly slams up into her, her head thudding against the door, and she slides down onto him, rotating her hips and grinding against his pelvis. His fingers are making deep indents in her skin from where he’s holding her, and she’ll probably have bruises tomorrow. She gives out her fair share of marks in return, though; her hands have crept up under his shirt and her nails are sinking into his shoulder blades, probably drawing blood.

They move at a breakneck pace, completely driven by passion and lust. After a few minutes, they both are panting and soaked with sweat, the remaining clothing barriers becoming stifling. 

Bradley uses one arm to hold her up and the other to brace himself against the door. His eyes are screwed tightly shut as he struggles to hold on, his control waning. Katie writhes against the cool metal of the door, moaning and calling out his name periodically. Neither last for long. Between the alcohol and the fact that they’ve been secretly dying to do this for ages, they can’t be bothered to go slow.

Katie bites down hard on his shoulder as she climaxes, her screams vibrating against his skin. He follows her shortly after, his hands moving up to grab her arms as he lifts her up and brings her back down, _hard_ , his groan echoing through the small room.

His head falls to her shoulder as he struggles to breathe, and Katie dismounts and carefully sets her feet down on the ground, not quite trusting her legs.

They use each other for support as they lope over to the bed. For the second night in a row, Katie finds herself sharing a bed with Bradley. They both shed the remains of their sweaty clothes and fall into the bed, unable to stand up any longer.

They pass out almost immediately; Katie’s drunken mumblings that sound suspiciously like an _“I love you”_ lost to the darkness.

\---

The next morning, Katie wakes up with a terrible headache and a faintly delicious soreness in between her legs. She rolls over, reaching across the other pillow, only to find that the opposite side of the bed is empty and cold, _again_.

This time there wasn’t even a note, and she had a sinking feeling in her gut that last night might have been a horrible mistake. She had enjoyed it, but was it worth it if she had lost a friend?

She drags a hand over her face, groaning miserably. It’s fine, it would all be fine. At least she didn’t have to work with him anymore.

She got up and took a shower, removing every trace of him from her body. God, she knew this trip had been a stupid idea.

When she got out of the shower, she heard a phone beeping from under her bed. It wasn’t her text alert noise, so she was curious. She crawls under the bed and finds Bradley’s iPhone there. Rolling her eyes, she sees on the front screen that there was a text from Colin that read: _You are such a dumbass_ — which made her smile.

She knew that she had to return the phone, so she reluctantly calls up Tom (no way was she talking to Colin after last night) and asks him for Bradley’s address. He and Bradley were close, and she was pretty sure that he’d visited a couple of times, so he’d probably know.

After getting the information and scribbling it down onto a hotel notepad, she gets dressed and prepares herself to go and see Bradley. She had to at least say goodbye this last time. They’d have a continent to separate them soon, and he could avoid her all he wanted then.

\---

It takes her a while to find his flat, but she eventually figures it out. She doesn’t want to risk buzzing him and scaring him off, so she sneaks in behind another visitor before the door locks. The ride in the lift seems to last forever, and she chews on her thumbnail absentmindedly as she waits to reach his floor. Finally, the bell dings and the doors open on the fifth floor.

She counts the numbers as she walks down the hall, stopping on room 508, the one that supposedly belongs to Bradley now. Taking a breath, she knocks on the door.

There’s a rustling noise from the other side of the door, and Katie can hear the faint sound of music. It’s strange, because it doesn’t sound like something Bradley would listen to. The thought registers in her head before the door even opens, but it’s too late to leave.

Standing in the doorway isn’t Bradley James, but the person is wearing his clothes. Katie recognizes the jersey, and the boxers are distinctly his, especially considering that the person at the door is a girl. 

Standing in front of her is Georgia King, and suddenly Katie’s heart drops to her stomach.

“Katie! What are you doing here?” Georgia chirps, ever the annoyingly friendly and perfect girl.

Great, she’s the bad guy. She stutters, “Um—I saw Bradley, and I just…” As she is talking, she notices Bradley walk into the room behind Georgia, and her voice sticks. He looks so damn guilty; she just wants to shake him.

She fumes inwardly as she stares at him; how dare he not tell her. The last she had heard, he and Georgia were in their “off again” phase, and he had acted like it was for good that time. But that was several months ago, and she stupidly hadn’t thought to ask.

Georgia was still watching Katie, her smile slowly fading. It had always been obvious that she had been jealous of Katie when it came to her relationship with Bradley; not that she had a reason to be, at least until now.

Forcing herself to look away from Bradley, Katie yanked the phone out of her pocket and shoved it at Georgia. “Your boyfriend left this in my room.” There’s venom behind her words, but she won’t go further than that. If he wants to play the victim, she’ll let him, but she won’t make it easy.

She leaves before Georgia can respond, and she makes her way back to the lifts. As the doors are closing, a hand shoots in between, pushing them open again. The doors open and reveal Bradley standing there, still with that awful guilty look on his face.

Katie huffs and pushes the ‘close door’ button, trying to get away from him. He stands in the way, though, and the doors stop.

“Katie, please. You have to know, I never meant for any of this to happen.”

She rolls her eyes. “You knew. You knew how I felt about you, and you didn’t bother to tell me that you had a girlfriend. That’s low, Bradley.”

“I wasn’t planning on sleeping with you!” he retorts, and it makes Katie scoff.

She pushes the button again, trying to get him to move. “It doesn’t matter.”

He sighs. “I wasn’t thinking—I didn’t think. I’m sorry.” He truly means it, but the words come out hollow. “I fucked things up, I know.”

She raises her eyebrows, her expression screaming ‘duh.’

He doesn’t know what else to say, so he stands there for a minute until she shoves at his chest, knocking him away so the doors can shut.

\---

She tries to get an earlier flight, she does, but there aren’t any available. So she sits in her hotel room by herself for hours, eating all the Toblerone chocolate and drinking all the alcohol that the hotel had stocked in the mini fridge. 

Colin calls her three times, and she knows that Bradley must have told him. She never answers, just lets it go to voicemail. She doesn’t want to talk about it.

She wraps up in her favorite scarf and puts on fuzzy socks, even though it’s warm. Something inside her feels so cold; and she can’t fix it. So she snuggles with Hugo and waits for the day she gets to go home.

American television keeps her relatively entertained. She is infinitely glad that Merlin isn’t on, because she might’ve had a full-on breakdown. She finds that TNT plays Supernatural during the day and watches that for a while, the hot demon fighting action taking her mind off of things.

She thinks that maybe if Bradley called she would answer, if only to just forgive him and move on, but he never does.

\---

The day of her flight is bittersweet. She wishes she could’ve fixed things with Bradley, but it’s too late now.

She gets a taxi to take her to the airport, several hours early since it’s an international flight. After check-in, she sits in the middle of LAX, watching the people around her to pass the time. It’s horribly boring, and she pulls out a book instead. Only an hour and half to go, and she’d be on her way home and out of this city for good.

\---

It takes him several days, but Bradley does eventually grow a backbone. He goes to Katie’s hotel to see her, but the concierge informs him that she’s left. He doesn’t give up, though, not yet.

Grabbing a cab, he orders the cabbie to get to the airport as fast as he can. There’s the usual _“You look familiar”_ conversation from the cab driver that he ignores, and he gets out at the international flight section of the airport.

It’s nearly impossible to get in the airport, so he ends up buying a ridiculously expensive ticket to somewhere in Asia just so he can get past security. He searches the departures board for the flights to Ireland, and immediately runs to the gate of the only plausible flight for her to take.

When he reaches the gate, he finds her in a row by herself, her nose buried in one of her books. Her hair is falling slightly into her eyes as she reads, and she has her huge scarf around her neck. The sight is enough to make him grin like an idiot. He never wants her to change.

She must sense someone watching, because Katie slowly closes her book and looks around her. After scanning her surroundings, her eyes fall on him, and she frowns. “What are you doing here?”

He walks up to her and sits next to her. “Couldn’t let you leave.”

“I have to go home, Bradley. I have work.”

He shrugs. “I know. But I couldn’t let you leave like that.”

She turns her head to look at him, her eyebrow cocked. “So how am I supposed to leave, then?”

Bradley takes a deep breath, steadying himself. “You should know, Georgia and I, we’re done. We’re just friends, and we’ve been that for a long time, we just didn’t realize it.”

Katie still looks skeptical.

He continues, “It was easy, to fall back into it while we were the only ones here.” On her look, he adds, “Stupid, I know. But when you showed up, it reminded me that I don’t love Georgia. Not like that, not anymore.”

Her expression softens, he seems sincere.

“I had forgotten what it was like to feel that way about someone. It wasn’t until I saw you that I figured it out. When I look at you…” he shrugs again, unable to articulate his thoughts. He never was the best with words. “Well, you get it.”

Katie makes a humming noise, feigning confusion. “Explain it to me.”

He grins at her and leans over the seat partition, cupping her cheek in his hand. He tilts her head towards him and kisses her, the movement quick, taking her by surprise. Slowly pulling back, he releases her bottom lip with a wet pop.

She laughs lightly against his lips and moves back in for swift peck.

“You’re still gonna make me explain it, aren’t you?” he asks, knowing the answer.

She nods, a grin on her lips. “I’ve got a long flight; it’ll give me something to think about on the plane.”

“How about you think about this instead?” He threads his fingers through her hair and grabs the back of her head, yanking her forward to meet his waiting lips. The kiss is ravenous; he devours her mouth like no one’s around. After a minute, he can feel her giggling against his lips, and it isn’t until he remembers that they’re in public that her laughter makes sense.

In the distance, he can hear a small child yelling, “But Mom, it was them! I saw Arthur and Morgana kissing!” Following which, there’s a distinct mumble of, “Wait, Mommy, isn’t she his sister?”

They both burst into incontrollable laughter, unable to help themselves. Katie falls over across his lap and they barely catch their breath for the next five minutes, both too amused. Katie makes sure to jokingly call him ‘her brother’ to anyone who talks to them, which only makes it worse.

When her plane is finally called, Bradley nearly makes her miss it, kissing her until the flight attendant yells at him to either leave or get on the plane with her. He gives her the saddest puppy eyes, but she tells him that she really does have to leave.

He kisses her once more, murmuring, “I’ll see you soon.” And he truly means it.

She smiles and picks up her bags, looking back at him and waving as the gate closes. Really, she should’ve known better. This was going to be so much more trouble than she asked for. 

But it might just be worth it.


End file.
